From the Bleachers

I've spent hundreds of hours over the last 8 years or so watching my kids play sports, but my favorite moment (so far) involved someone else's kid, and a very good coach.

Fiona's first softball season was in 3rd grade, and her team was a good mix of St. A's classmates and girls from Evanston public schools. No one had much softball experience, so it was a learning year, with modest expectations. The team played about .500 ball, but you could see steady progress over the course of the season.

For most of the girls, anyway. It was clear early on that we had a range of athletic ability on the team, and softball was a real challenge for some -- there's nothing natural about hitting or throwing. That variety of players' skills has to be the hardest thing for youth sport coaches to deal with, I think. How do you challenge the good players and keep them interested, give the bad players the right opportunities and enough playing time, and win enough games overall to keep everyone encouraged and having fun? And keep all the parents at bay?

On that last point Coach Tom set the tone in the very first game, when some of our team's parents jeered the umpire for his balls-and-strikes calls. The coach called time out, came over to where we were all sitting, and said sternly, "Folks -- we're NOT doing that this year." He was a big guy, with a serious demeanor, and we all thought "Yes, Sir", even if we didn't say it. And that was that.

The worst player on the team was pretty clearly M., a quiet, chubby African-American girl. She just couldn't hit, and wound up striking out looking just about every time at bat. This went on for the better part of the season, and Tom never said a word to her when she came back to the bench. It seemed a little cold, but that was just his style of managing -- I'm sure he gave her plenty of instruction at the practices, but games were different. (I wonder: are kids really helped when you say "Nice try" or "Good swing"? Does it take the sting out of failure, or does it just lead them to mistrust or ignore what adults say?)

In one of the last games of the season M. was at bat in a late inning, and the parents in the stands all knew what was coming next, when she surprised everyone by swinging at a pitch and hitting a ground ball. The shortstop bobbled it, and she was safe at first -- her first "hit" of the season! The next batter made an out, ending the inning, which hardly mattered to her or any of us.

When she came back to the bench for her glove she got some congratulations from her teammates, of course. And as she started to trot out to her position in the field she was stopped by Coach Tom, who said to her (a little less sternly), "See, M.? Good things happen when you swing the bat, don't they?"

She beamed the biggest, most beatific smile you can imagine.

I wonder what she's up to now, 5 years later? I wonder what she'll grow up to be? But I have no doubt that she knows what accomplishment feels like, and approval from someone who matters to her, and that that experience will stick with her forever. It's for moments like those that I encourage my kids to stay involved in sports, and that keep me in the bleachers watching.

Pat