What Does Daddy Fix?

The center of the universe is Harold's Hardware, on Central Street in Evanston. I just thought you'd like to know.


Harold's is a quintessential old-time hardware store. The shelves go way up high, on both sides of the narrow aisles, and are packed with stuff. I'm not sure they have ten of anything, but they've got one or two of everything. The minimum age for employment seems to be about 70, and those old guys know it all. (John is only about 45, but he's got a connection since his dad works there.)


Besides knowing where stuff is, the Old Guys know how to fix things -- what to do, and what tools/parts you need. I can't count the number of times I've met a neighbor in there on a Saturday morning, with a diagram scribbled on a piece of paper, describing his project: "There's a blue thing that's threaded onto this copper piece, but it's cracked, so it leaks into this part back here, and I can't reach it with my pliers," or something like that. One of the Old Guys will say, "Follow me," and take him to the right part and/or tool, and explain what needs to be done.


Having lived in a couple of old (90-100 year) houses, I've spent my fair share of time at Harold's. The upstairs bathroom sink at our place on Grant Street had "Chicago Faucets" - that's a brand, apparently. The washers used to wear out every few years, so that eventually you couldn't shut them off all the way. I got my repair routine down to under an hour:

• Turn off the water supply to the house, since the sink didn't have shutoff valves.
• Remove the separate hot and cold water faucets. Put the parts into separate plastic baggies.
• Take those to Harold's, and tell them you needed parts for a Chicago Faucet.
• They'd open up a big box with dozens of little tiny boxes inside, find the washers or whatever, and take apart the faucet valves and replace the worn parts right there. Then they'd write an incredibly small cost on a piece of paper ($2.00, max) for you to take to the cashier.
• Pay, go back home, reinstall, turn the house water supply back on.
• Bask in the glow of having completed a successful house project.

Try that at Home Depot.


I'm definitely a semi-handy guy -- a "hammer mechanic"; I'm logical, and know how a lot of things work, and know my limitations pretty well. If there's something I can't fix or do well, I can at least diagnose what needs to be done, and then have confidence when hiring the right guy to do the right job. For a couple of major home renovation projects (most recently my current basement) I've done the demolition work with friends, and then brought in contractors to bid on the renovation with no hidden issues. Somehow that lets me feel at least a little in control of the job.


Things I can fix or do: Most toys. Bikes. Computers. Doors and windows. Light fixtures. Most anything that can be taped, stapled, nailed, screwed or glued back together. Minor hand-sewing jobs. Minor plumbing (toilets, sinks, etc.) and electrical (switches, outlets, phone wires). Light bulbs. Picture hanging. Ikea furniture assembly, or anything that comes with instructions.


Things I can't: Cars. Electronics. Major plumbing or electrical. Anything that needs to be sewn with a machine. Finished carpentry or drywall. Icemakers. Appliances, generally.


An exception to the last one is our washing machine, which I fixed tonight, which made me think of this topic. It's not very old, but it started leaking water onto the basement floor in the last few days when used. Meaghan's husband Joe looked inside, saw a plastic hose thing with a tear in it, and figured that was the problem. I called a couple of appliance places to come fix it, but it's not a mainstream brand (Fisher and Paykel) and they wouldn't touch it. So I found and ordered the part online yesterday, it was delivered today, and it wasn't too hard to install. It works! I'm basking!


(That makes up a little for the time when I installed a new kitchen faucet. I was on my back working under the sink when the wrench slipped out of my hand and hit me right in the middle of my forehead. I bled like crazy, and have a small scar there to this day.)


For years when fixing something for one of the kids I'd extort some appreciation from them: before returning the item I'd ask "What does Daddy fix?", and the correct response was "Everything!" Now instead of that answer I get the big eye-roll, but I try anyway. We all know "everything" isn't strictly true, but I can still fix my fair share -- in large part thanks to Harold's, the center of the universe.


Pat