Urban Snark

I was young and hip, once.

Well, not really.  The fact that I use the word "hip" tells it all.  If you're 25 you'd sooner use a generic ringtone than describe yourself as "hip".

But I did live in Lincoln Park, and go to cool bars and restaurants, and see bands at the Vic, Metro, and the Double Door.  With a corporate job and a short haircut I wasn't an insider, but I had a rough idea where the inside was.

Now, of course, I don't have a clue.  Walking around the old neighborhood on the occasional nostagia tour is like walking on Mars, and the Martians know you're not from those parts.

For ages the area code for northeastern Illinois was 312, but in the late '80's it was restricted to Chicago, and everything outside of the city was converted to 708.  That became a derogatory term for anything too suburban: "Oh, he's a nice guy, but he's pretty 708..."  I call this general attitude Urban Snark, summed up by the sentiment "We're cooler than you, but we don't care, as long as you do."

And I haven't cared too much, for years, as evidenced by my general lack of black clothes, or gel in my hair.  But one aspect of Urban Snark culture I'm amused by is the t-shirts with the dry or ironic messages, some of which really crack me up.  Some examples:

• A picture of a steak, with the saying "Meat is Murder.  Tasty, Tasty Murder".  I'm not sure if this is meant to offend vegetarians, meat-eaters, or everyone.
• A graphic of a Wheel of Fortune board, showing the letters " ALC_H_L ", and the punchline underneath: "Sometimes alcohol is the answer."
• "Pogue Mahone", sometimes spelled "Pog Mo Thoin", usually in an Irish script.  It's Gaelic for "Kiss My Arse."
• A shirt with a simulated "Hello My Name Is" sticker on it -- written in script is "Inigo Montoya/you killed my father/prepare to die".  Just because the movie "The Princess Bride" is hilarious.
  
• "Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints."
• "National Sarcasm Society.  Like we really need your support."
• "I'm the grammar snob about whom your mother warned you."

I don't think of myself as a message-wearer, but I suppose everything you do, say, or wear sends a message.  The other t-shirts that have intrigued me are throwbacks to '60's-'70's youth culture, with pictures of the Quisp cereal mascot, or George Jetson, or Underdog, or Tab soda, that today's kids wouldn't recognize.  Hmmm...if I wore that then I'd be the insider, and the joke would be on them!

Oh, wait -- I'm not supposed to really care, am I?  Darn, this whole attitude thing is tricky.

So I'll still venture down into Lincoln Park, Wicker Park, or Bucktown on occasion, and probably make at least a little effort to blend in.  But I'm not putting stuff in my hair.

And now you know what to get me for Christmas.

Pat