Business Ideas

I admire people who can start up a business -- a restaurant, a website, a clothing line, whatever. I'm too risk-averse and too "9-to-5" to make that happen.

I have my ideas, though. Here are a couple I've been mulling for a while -- comments and refinements welcome. Maybe one of these will be a big hit.

1. A new line of self-help books
(I've run this by a few people, with mixed reviews so far.) The two very successful self-help series over the last 10-15 years are the "for Dummies" and "Idiot's Guide" books, like "Microsoft Word for Dummies", "The Idiot's Guide to Chess", and so on. That's all well and good, but a key market segment has been left wanting: morons. If you're a dummy or an idiot you can get all the instruction you need, but if you're a moron? Nothing! The possibilities are endless: "A Moron's Book of Gardening", "Pay Your Taxes, You Moron", etc. And the beautiful thing is, you could charge whatever you want per book, since the people who'd buy it -- well, they're morons!

2. Health club equipment
People will avoid almost any form of exercise, and then happily do a simulated version at a health club. Walk or run a few blocks at home, or a mile or two? No way -- but let me at that gym treadmill! Take the stairs instead of the elevator at work? Nah, but I'll put in my time on the StairMaster. We'll hire someone to lift and carry stuff from the basement to the garage, and then lift and carry weights ourselves two days each week at LifeTime Fitness.

I'm designing a new gym machine around a 4-foot rod attached to a series of cables, pulleys, and weights, which simulates snow shoveling. Snow shoveling is a renowned strenuous exercise -- it's known for giving old men heart attacks -- but we avoid it at home at all costs. The "SnoMaster" could have a video screen showing you the length of sidewalk you have ahead of you, and the depth of the snow on the screen could vary based on the resistance level chosen. Nike and Reebok could make special SnoMaster gloves and hats to wear. Maybe boots, too. I can picture a whole row of people at the gym, listening to their iPods, wearing their gear, happily shoveling their way to fitness -- especially in warm places like Florida and Arizona, where there's no outdoor opportunity at all.

I'll let you know how these progress. And the "RakeMaster" is not too far behind.

Pat