Kid Conversations

Kids are naturally selfish, and one of a parent's jobs is to train them to be less so. Sharing with their brothers and sisters, not bullying (just because they can), doing nice things for others -- these are learned behaviors.

One order I give at home that's always ignored is "That's enough!" If Conor's telling a story at dinner that belittles Emmet, I give him a "That's enough!", but he seems physically unable to stop until the cruel point is made. Repeating the order, ever louder, has no effect. I haven't decided yet if I have to ramp up the consequences, or let them outgrow it (it's not just Conor). It's frazzling.

Another one: My kids are almost to the point where they don't automatically interrupt a conversation just because they've got something to say or ask. Almost. But I remember the early years well, when one of them (any of them) would interrupt with "Mom?" or "Dad?" regardless of who was already talking, and repeat this every 1-2 seconds until he was acknowledged: "Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? " It was like a dental drill without anesthesia, especially at the end of a long day. I can find it a little amusing now when it's someone else's beloved child, but the memory still gives me a toothache.

Revenge can be had, though. Here's a conversation non-starter we've had a hundred times at home, and we'll have another hundred, since it never gets old -- at least not to me:

(Whichever Kid): "Dad, d'ya know what's weird?"
"Flying monkeys?"
"No!"
"What, you don't think flying monkeys are weird?"
"DA-AD!"

I get bonus points if Whichever Kid forgets what he/she was going to say in the first place, although there's a little guilt, too. But that fades well before the next opportunity...

Pat